The last
week and a half have been really busy. I was away for work and to see my dad,
and then caught a terrible cold. I came home last Thursday night, really sick,
and then had my first consult on Friday afternoon. I was in a bit of a daze due to the head cold, but still went to the appointment of course.
I really liked ARC- I'll just use initials here, but you can probably figure it out if you wanted to. It's a brand new clinic, located in the Brier Creek area. It feels like a spa, all bamboo floors and frosted panes and very calming, and
the attention was very personalized and friendly. I liked Dr. C a lot, and the staff (with the exception of the bitchy and confusing financial lady). Downside: it is not cheap. And a real pain to drive
to from my house. And untested, as it's new, although both doctors come from Duke and are highly regarded.
The doctor confirmed that I have a fabulous AMH, equivalent
to a 30 year old's, but that in practice my eggs suck. Both in quantity and
quality. At least we think they do- I have had such small sample sizes, that it's hard to judge anything much. But the quantity problem is obvious, and the fragmentation is a problem she identified. I am a good candidate for egg donation, as my old doctor was pushing, but this doctor also said she
has no reason to recommend against trying the antagonist protocol or flare. I
have only ever done Lupron downregulation and that sure didn't work.
I am
officially a "low responder" and limited by my one functioning ovary, so I'm probably just going to waste a
ton of money and emotional energy on this, but since when was fertility
treatment a rational thing??? I do feel unresolved. As the doctor pointed out, I will walk away after all this with either a baby or the thought that I tried everything I could. She recommends doing an antral follicle count and then choosing which of the two protocols, and taking some time off the pill before beginning in January. She referred to the antagonist protocol as "gentler" and I do have to say I am glad to not have to do Lupron again. She also mentioned human growth hormone, and I want to ask her about assisted hatching, if I do go with ARC.
Anyway, I have not made any decision, and have a
consult at Duke on Thursday and a phone consult with Shady Grove on Friday. I
am curious as to whether they agree with Dr. C at ARC, or agree with my previous doctor who told me to give it up and try donor eggs. My husband is completely
consumed with the business school program he started last month and pretty much
absent from this whole process. K has actually been coming with to
appointments, which is strange but perhaps the nicest thing anyone not related
to me has done. I'm kind of puzzled but grateful to have the support.
So. I'm doing shitty on paper, but I'm actually not feeling
depressed or weepy at all. Amazing what being off the hormones will do for ya.
Also we are going to Ecuador for the holidays, just me and B, so I have
something fun to look forward to! Then I get to come home and deal with
whatever I have chosen to do in January.
