Getting Close!

Today is Saturday, but we had to go in at 8 am for another ultrasound and bloodtest. We're getting so close! My follicles have grown to be between 11 and 15.5 mm, and I have 8 on my right ovary, and only 1 on my left ovary. My left ovary is not cooperating, probably due to trauma from the endo and the surgery I had in March. But the one follicle there is one of the biggest, at 15.5 mm. I think there are a couple that size on the right ovary too.

My estrogen has also soared, from 362 on Thursday to 1187 today. Wow! Quite a jump, though he says it is consistent with the growth of the ovaries.

They want to see me again tomorrow at 8 am. Either tomorrow or Monday will be trigger day, which means tonight could be my last night of meds. Or tomorrow night. I have a feeling we'll go one more day, but who knows. I could have a growth spurt tonight or something.  It would be nice if tomorrow is it, because I could save that $500 vial of Follistim I bought. I could use it next cycle (if there has to be one) or make a very nice gift of it to someone in my support group.

Dr. F says I am low in the number of follicles, since my left ovary is mostly out of the picture. However, he didn't seem concerned. Since I am young, he thinks we'll get good eggs from the follicles I do have. He said the minimum they'd want is 4 to do a retrieval, and I do have 9 decently sized ones. So I am feeling quite happy and grateful and hopeful.

Please, please, please. I have been through so much this past 18 months. A year and a half of getting my hopes up every month, 8 months of Clomid and 2 of Femara, one laparoscopy surgery, one cancelled IVF cycle, and now an almost complete IVF cycle. Please, let me be pregnant from this.

CD 17: Ovulation At Last

So last month, with no Clomid, I got a positive ovulation test on day 16. This month, on Clomid, I expected something more like day 14 or 15. Instead, negative, negative, negative. I've been testing since last Saturday and today is Thursday! Finally, today, day 17, I think I got a positive, but still, I'm not 100% sure. I'll test again when I get home. I think I might have like two test strips left. Which won't matter, because I'm sick of this crap and going to do IVF next cycle. It's already planned for.

Other complications in my life are that I crashed on my scooter a couple of days ago. I'm sore and cut and have a few stitches in my chin. Trying to baby make was pretty much a joke last night (though it was accomplished) and I'm sure tonight will be the same. Bad timing but still worth doing!

In fertility land, the only other news is that I switched my DC flight to three weeks from now, since IVF will consume most of July and I won't be able to leave town then. Also, on Monday (Memorial Day) we went to a cook-out at the home of a couple from my support group. Another couple from the group, and one woman, were also there. It was okay: kind of depressing, as the support group always is, but also nice to see them outside of the hospital meeting room, and to remember not everyone is a fertile myrtle with no problems.

Anyway, I am not temping this month, due to our trip to Seattle and the time zone differences (and my cold last week and the accident this week wouldn't have helped either). So I guess we'll just try for a baby the next couple of nights and then call it quits. And wait for my period. Which always comes.

Short lived happiness. On to confusion.

Okay, so I was thrilled Friday night, only to wake up Sunday and not have a temperature rise. O-kay. Pushed it out of mind... but then, today's rise was above the cover line, but just.

Wth?

I was totally crushed this morning, and still am feeling rather blue. I keep reading online that a slow rise can be totally okay, but of course I am worried that I did not ovulate. My CM was eggwhite-ish and the test was VERY clear, so I'm praying that I get a continued higher rise tomorrow and I can relax.

If no rise tomorrow, I should get a progesterone test on Wednesday. The doctor already wrote me a script for it.

Is it so much to ask that for ONCE, one cycle would work? I hate this confusion and disappointment every time. Nothing is ever on schedule, predictable, or easy. I just want this period of my life to be over.

Yay, ovulation!

Yay yay yay! Took another ovulation test just now and it's DEFINITELY a positive. I am about to ovulate! I don't have a cyst! My size was good, my lining good, and maybe Femara is the magic drug for me.

As I was dancing around the living room with the positive ovulation test, I was hoping that in two weeks I will be dancing around with a positive pregnancy test.... Wish me luck!

Waiting game

Well, 28 hours after I emailed my doctor, she finally found the time to call me back. She said it does sound like I've ovulated, since I've had five high temps. She didn't know how to explain why my ultrasound showed all small follicles, except the one huge 40mm cyst. She really didn't have any explanation for me. All I know is that I must have ovulated that same day.

Anyway, the huge cyst might be a problem, so I'm to come back for a baseline ultrasound if I get my period next week. Then we'll decide if I should stay on the Clomid, and what to do about dosage.

I'm telling you, if I have to take a month off of drugs, I am going on vacation! I need a break from all this, and it's impossible for us to plan our usual Xmas get-away, since we never know if I'll be pregnant or not, and I don't want to fly if I'm still in my first trimester. Ugh, all this not-knowing is very stressful. I've been handling it better than last month, my first one on Clomid, but I'm still eager for time to speed up and for it to be day 13 already. Hopefully day 13, 14, 15 and beyond- with no period.

Good night,

SICK OF ALWAYS WAITING in North Carolina.

Can an ultrasound be wrong?

So either I am pretty late ovulating, or I am 3 dpo (days past ovulation). I have no idea which one and I'm not sure what to think. Here's the deal: I had my mid-cycle ultrasound on day 18 (last month I ovulated on day 21 or 22). I had gotten what I thought was probably a positive ovulation test the day before- day 17. It was definitely as dark as the control line, though not darker like last month when I had a positive ovulation test. So I was unsure, and I told the residents when they did my ultrasound. They looked, and said they didn't think I had ovulated, that my lining was still thinner than it should be (7.5, when ideally it's 8-12, but at least I was above 6, what is considered the minimum), and that they saw one huge cyst (40mm) and a bunch of small ones, like around 11-14 mm (I can't remember if they said 11 or 14. forgive me, but it was 7:30 am and I am not human yet at that hour. I was also nervous and upset, as always at the doctor's when I have a huge wand up my wazoo).

Anyway, they said it looked to them like I had not ovulated, but that I was on track to ovulate on Monday, day 22, just like last month.

I accepted this, and carried on, and have continued to do ovulation tests. Today is day 21, Sunday, and I have not really gotten a positive test yes (today's was darker than normal, but not as dark as Wednesday's). However, this is the weird part: I got that positive test last Wednesday, and my temperature spiked on Friday morning. It's been high each day since.

So it does seem that I might have ovulated. I don't know why it wouldn't appear that way on my ultrasound, except that they don't seem very reliable to me. More an art than a science. Last month they told me I had already ovulated, when in fact I wouldn't for another week. So, I kinda think those residents might be, uh, not that good at ultrasounds. Or it's just hard to read. Or they did say that big cyst was making things really hard to see.

So, I'm trying not to obsess, and we're just continuing to try to make a baby every other day, and I'll keep peeing in a cup and temping. I'm hoping that I really am 3dpo and not just not ovulating. I think I will email my doctor tomorrow and ask, "Can an ultrasound be wrong???"

Has anyone else ever gotten mixed messages like this? Or had a similar reason to doubt the ultrasounds???

Thanks for reading, whoever you are. Good night.