New Strategy

Today I spoke with a friend of a friend, who did IVF. She also sent an email about how she chose her clinic, and a different friend of a friend sent a similar email.

I realize how I wasn't as smart about picking a clinic as I could have been. I went with mine because it was so geographically convenient, and because I knew the doctor there and felt comfortable, and because I naively thought that I'd get lucky without too much work, being young and relatively healthy and all that.

This time, I am doing all the research the two friends recommended, and that I should have done right from the start.

The best numbers come from Duke and Shady Grove. I compared 5 clinics including my own. I was foolish not to have done this before. I let the convenience and comfort of going somewhere I knew let me waste my time and money. I am going into this with a different attitude now.

I will call UNC on Monday and get my medical records. I will call both clinics on Monday, and also the new one that was started by the Duke physicians that my friend liked (and whose work contributed to Duke's high success rates in the past). I will go to all three and show them my medical records, along with a concise summary of what meds I took, what dosages, my follicle count each day, and my estrogen. I will ask what they would have done differently and what they would do if I came to their clinic. I will very carefully ask what their honest thoughts are on my past two cycles and my prognosis and chances of success if I do two more. I will take very careful notes, ask all my questions, and not get intimated.

For now, I will still consider adoption but temporarily put it on the back burner. If my dad's  adoption attorney friend can meet with us, great, but I think I have plenty of work interviewing the three clinics already. I am looking forward to hearing from the adoption foundation people at Tuesday's support group meeting. But I just don't feel at peace with stopping the IVF. 

This is a lot to think about, but although I obsessed about all this last time, I don't think I asked the right questions all the time. I hope I'm on a better path now.