Before this morning, I was getting really hopeful. I ovulated on day 15, we perfectly timed sex, this was my third round of Clomid, and my temperatures had reached a third high level for day 8, 9, and 10. I got so excited yesterday that I went to the store and bought an early pregnancy test.
Well, I took it at 6 am today, because that's when I woke up to pee, and it was... negative. Also, my temp fell- not below the coverline, but two tenths of a degree from yesterday. Also, my lower back is hurting.
So, neither the slight dip in temperature nor the negative early pregnancy test are signs of anything for sure- and the backache could totally be from bowling last night- but I'm not feeling hopeful anymore. I feel like this will be all the other months and I'm headed towards my period.
Life feels really, really unfair right now. It's not enough to suffer from infertility for the past 9+ months, but I also flunked out of the first three rounds of Clomid.
If it's not going to work, I wish I could save all this waiting and heartache and just skip to injectables or IVF. I know I still have to keep giving Clomid a chance, but jeezus, I never thought I'd have at least a TWO YEAR wait till I have a baby in my arms. Two years if I'm lucky, is what it's looking like right now.
I'm still hopeful but I'm also already depressed again. I guess now I just wait. I should get my period tomorrow or Tuesday, if it's coming again this month.
No comments:
Post a Comment