A Bit Better Today

Yesterday morning I was really blue, but the sadness has started to lift a bit. A few reasons for this:

1. The nurse called yesterday afternoon, and was actually friendly and helpful. Not the regular IVF nurse, but someone else. In any case, she told me she is renewing all my prescriptions because Dr. F has given the go-ahead to start the Lupron again in a couple of weeks. We'll talk to him on Friday about scheduling, due to B's trip to Cali and the possible need to delay for one week, but the nurse didn't seem to feel like this will be a major problem or cause a big delay. She said we might be able to start Lupron one week later or stay on it an extra week, or we could talk about freezing B's sperm so he doesn't even have to be there. Another idea B and I discussed is him just flying back Monday night instead of Tuesday night. There are options, and none of them are waiting a whole more month, so I feel much better. It's the waiting that is so hard, but having the broad outlines of a plan and the feeling of getting back on the horse make it all feel more.. pro-active.

2. We went out to a really nice dinner last night, because we had a Groupon that was about to expire. Last week we were way too sad to use it, but we were feeling ready by yesterday. We had drinks and dinner, and managed to get through almost the whole meal without discussing IVF or fertility. Then we came home and for the first time in about a month, felt like going to bed together. We'd been too depressed and preoccupied to really relax until yesterday. It was very nice, and helped me to feel close to B again in a way that I'd almost forgotten about. It's nice to feel like the pre-IVF me sometimes again.

3. A woman from the Resolve group emailed me, as she's about to start her first IVF cycle and would like to get some reassurance, since I just did it. She is also here in my town (most of my group members live further away) and so we're going to get drinks tomorrow evening. It's always nice to feel like I'm not going through this alone, so I'm looking forward to this, and having a new friend that actually understands this in a way that my non-fertility challenged friends and family never can.

I should get back to work now, but I am looking forward to meeting with Dr. F on Friday and getting a real plan. Till then, I'm staying busy with work and friends. It's going to be okay... and maybe the second time is the charm.