Down In the Dumps

It's been almost a week since my negative pregnancy test(s). I am pretty depressed.

I haven't wanted to talk to hardly anyone about this. I emailed my friends who knew, and my parents, and told them I don't want to talk about it. I haven't made an appointment with my therapist. I just don't have anything positive to say, so who wants to hear it.

On the up side, we have an appointment with Dr. F on Friday morning. Maybe I will feel more upbeat when we have a new game plan. But I just don't see how we can do anything soon, with our New York trip over Labor Day and B's five day trip to California the next weekend. I guess we will have to wait, and I just feel so hopeless and depressed when we're waiting. If B insists on going to this bachelor party and we have to wait another month, I am going to lose it. Maybe that won't be an issue. Scheduling and timing is always so dependent on my clinic.

I'm exercising, eating okay, and getting sleep. Doing all the things I should be, but just feeling angry, bitter, and hopeless. Easily irritated too. B's parents were here this weekend and I wanted to strangle them sometimes. But I normally feel that way, so I guess that's no big change. My mom and aunt arrive on Friday night. What a time for visitors.

Anyway, nothing else to say. I'm just miserable and sad and feel very hopeless about my life. B is about to start school in October and I thought I'd have a baby by now to keep me company. Everyone is having babies and posting baby photos on FB and I am still here, where I was 19 months ago. Life is so unfair.