Adoption Thoughts

No news on my period yet, but came across a quote in a book about adoption that made me get all teary on the couch last night:

    She is a joyous girl, but her questions began, if only tentatively. "Why did you choose me? Were the other babies ugly?"
    "I chose you because I fell in love with you when you turned your head and looked into my eyes," I
    tell her. "I saw your soul, and knew you were my daughter."

As much as I am totally committed to doing IVF one or possibly two more times, I find myself being more and more open to adoption. Hearing from the adoption foundation that came to speak at Resolve and the founders who shared their personal story of five miscarriages and eventual adoption and their great love for their son, and reading Dan Savage's book about adopting, both made me more deeply consider it as a viable and even happy option. Being a mother is about parenting, and not pregnancy, and these books and the couple from Goetz made me contemplate this possibility. I know that B feels strongly that he wants that biological link, but he is also totally committed to having a child by whatever means possible, and so he is open to it too. In fact, it's me pushing the last couple of tries with IVF- I want to feel that I did everything possible (also, it would be cheaper if it works, and at least we'd feel comfortable with our genetics and no depression/cancer/etc and a guarantee of no smoking/drinking during pregnancy).

Anyway, it also reminds me of the other two quotes that constantly go through my head, both of which I have posted on this blog earlier and also make me cry to re-read:

     I can't know the pain you may have experienced in your quest for conception- the disappointment, the frustration, the hope and the hopelessness of each negative pregnancy test. Perhaps you, like me, have felt the heartbreak of conceiving and losing a child. Perhaps, like me, you have given the power over your own body to doctors in the hope that somehow they will make everything better. I don't know why we have been chosen to undertake such a painful journey, why we must go through such struggles to bring our children into the world. But I do know that when we look into our babies' faces, they will never have to wonder if they were really wanted. Ours are the children who, no matter how they came to us, will look at their parents and know, from the deepest place in their heart, how much we cherish them, and how we labored to give them life. And in that there is no greater security and no greater gift. 
(from a book on acupuncture, can't remember the title)

and

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m saying it’s going to be worth it.”
(Quote read on someone else's fertility blog)

and finally, from my mom:

You, my sweetness, were wanted, planned, and adored from your very first moment. I think this is a case of "quality over quantity." When people have asked me, why i did not have any other children since i love and enjoy you so much, i say that i had one perfect winner. why would i want to screw the odds.