 |
| It's not a kitten, folks. My husband asked the nurse, just to be sure. |
As for telling people, we're still being cautious. This is on account of three things: first, I'd like to get through 12 weeks and also the Down's screening. We're not too worried about it since we used a 23 year old donor, but you never know. We would terminate if there are any serious problems, as traumatic as that would be. I pray we never would need to make those kinds of decisions.
Second, I have a job interview! It's not an ideal job and I probably will not get it, but I don't want to totally ruin my chances if someone were to post something dumb on Facebook (I did change my wall settings today, so B's mom can't blab anything, she's kind of a Facebook stalker in general).
And third, I want to be really sensitive in how and whom we share the news with. Pregnancy announcements were always so hard for me, as I've written about before. I don't know that we will say anything on Facebook at all, but even when sharing with colleagues and friends, I haven't decided how much info is TMI and how much is being aware and open that it's not easy for everyone. These are all things to consider in a few more weeks.
This week was the first RESOLVE meeting that I didn't attend and I'd say that felt weird, except I believe I slept through most of that time anyway. I am still having such exhaustion. I guess since I dealt with infertility for so long, none of my friends warned me what being pregnant would really be like. I am SO tired, and never feel well-rested, and must nap every afternoon or I feel like the flu times ten. I also struggle with nausea most evenings, but thankfully not usually in the daytime when I am at work. I don't really mind any of it too much though, because this is what I wanted.
Back to the RESOLVE thing- a friend from the group and I, both pregnant, have talked about starting a Pregnancy and/or Parenting after Infertility group. I checked out our local library and it has a good meeting space that we can reserve once a month. But, for some reason I have been dragging my feet about actually starting the group. I guess I am not sure exactly what role it would have in my life or other's. I definitely had some anxiety in the first few weeks of pregnancy, and I still get nervous before ultrasounds, but I'm wondering what specific needs a group like this would fill. Has anyone else heard about these groups? There are some, scattered around, mainly in larger cities. Anyway, something to consider a bit more.
My next doctor's appointment will be with the midwives, on Monday morning. I need to gather my donor's info and my own medical records to bring with me. I hope the midwife is understanding and supportive about our history.
What an exciting and scary time! Congrats on graduating, and I hope that the midwife will be super understanding and supportive. As to the group, I don't know of anything like that here. It would be phenomenal to know that there is support after success, because infertility is still a part of who you are and your feelings about your pregnancy after you're successful(so I hear from those who go before me). I know so many women who lamented the fact that after graduating from the clinic and fertility yoga they realized there was no longer the support network that they once had for pregnancy after infertility. Even at the fertility yoga place, when you graduate to prenatal yoga there isn't a special one for people who have graduated, you are stuck in with all the "whoopsie" people and the "I tried for two months" people. Which can leave you feeling lonely all over again. I think there is a need and I'm jealous I don't live near you so I can take advantage after this fall! :) I also realize though that when you are this exhausted, adding something else to your plate can be a bit much. So also give yourself the out that you need to take care of yourself now, with your exhaustion and caution and new job prospects... if it's too much don't feel that you need to be the one to do this now.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments and support.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of, I really need to post soon about my experience trying to read pregnancy books. I have put them all down in disgust. I can't take the little anecdotes sprinkled throughout (these books like to have "real women's voices" in them): "we didn't know it would be so easy to get pregnant!" and "It happened so much faster than we expected!" Barf.