And the search begins

This afternoon I received access to the donor database.

It's hard to describe how I am feeling. I have been so anxious all week, and now it's really happening. I immediately logged in to the database.. and then stopped. I couldn't bring myself to actually do anything.

When you log in, there are rows of photos along the left hand side, and donor stats on the right (height, weight, hair/eye color, ethnicity). Then there are links to genetic analysis and a long document with important questions (health info) and not so important questions (what is your favorite food?).  At the end, there is a question where they ask the donor what she would tell her recipient, and the child. That part choked me up, and I haven't been able to continue reading them quite yet. The handful that I looked at had sweet, touching, meaningful messages.

I will continue reading them, and I will report back. But for now, it's all just too much. I am so lucky that this is an option, and so thankful that these women have donated their eggs and their genetic material.

More info soon, but for now, I am just have to think about all of this and how to begin.