Sorry for the bad language, but that's really how I've been feeling for the past few days.
When I last wrote, on Monday, I reported one crying episode in the airport, but said that otherwise I was feeling fine. That didn't last long. By Monday night, I was angry, sad, and irritable. That was after 7 nights of Lupron shots. I had a huge fight with my husband and said all kinds of mean things, even threatening to not continue the IVF cycle. Tuesday night we fought again. I really FELT mad, but with a little distance, I realize that my emotions are pretty out of control. I cried inconsolably Tuesday night, even missing the movie we'd planned to treat ourselves with since yesterday was a day off from work.
Yesterday, the 4th of July, I did better. We stayed out most of the day, doing things with friends- an outdoors festival, and a cookout in the neighborhood, and then saw the movie that we missed on Tuesday night. Keeping busy gives me less time to listen to my Lupron-induced hormonal mess, which is definitely a good thing.
The positive news is that I only have two more nights of the full 10 units of Lupron. On Saturday evening, I cut the dosage in half, while adding the Menopur and Follistim. I don't know how those will make me feel, but I don't think they have the same emotional effects. I hope.
Other than my hormonal induced craziness, I'm feeling pretty okay. I'm getting excited for Saturday, to start the "real" IVF drugs. Not that I want the drugs, but after a year and a half of infertility, and a year of being in treatment, and a false start to an IVF cycle over three months ago, I'm just so ready to get the show on the road. I just want this all to speed up, to get over with, and to come out on the other side with a happy result.
No comments:
Post a Comment